Seven Healthy Steps for Conflict Resolution

Most people don’t like conflict. In fact, some people might do whatever they can to avoid confrontation and conflict. They want to avoid the uncomfortable emotions that come with arguments and disagreements with others. They might feel uncomfortable with speaking up for their own needs and wants. Or they may not know how to communicate with others in the face of difficulty in relationships. For recovering addicts, many of these situations might be true. Because of the denial and low self-esteem that tends to come with addiction, many addicts have a hard time with facing conflict in their friendships and relationships.

However, there are very clear steps that relationship experts have designed to help people through a conflict, even if they don’t have the skills for conflict resolution. The following seven steps are easy to follow and understand.

1.      Agree on the ground rules you’d like to have for the discussion. For instance, you might agree that there is no interrupting and that each person remain respectful. You might also agree that there is no yelling, cursing, or putting another person down. Having general rules around your discussion will make it easier to discuss a topic that’s difficult.

2.      Take turns in explaining your feelings and thoughts about the situation. If you’re having a conflict, then each person is going to have their own point of view. Each of you can explain your position while staying within the ground rules you’ve established together.

3.      Identify and agree on the nature of the conflict. After each of you have taken turns, identify what the precise conflict is. What are you arguing about? Sometimes when two people are arguing, the conflict comes out of not seeing the situation in the same way. Make sure you can identify and agree on the conflict you’re having. You might even state this aloud in your conversation.

4.      Take turns in exploring options to resolve the conflict. This step invites you to go into a brainstorming session. Think of the various ways that you might resolve the conflict. Each of you might have different ideas, some of which might require compromise. However, at this step of conflict resolution, have each person clarify what they would like to see happen. This is a pivotal step in the process. Make sure that each person remains open to new ideas and respectful.

5.      Agree on a solution. Once each of you have offered your ideas. Discuss which idea might make the most sense given the circumstances. You might look for the idea that both of you are willing to accept. See if you can come to an agreement of the solution.

6.      State the solution. Once you’ve made an agreement, state the solution aloud.

7.      Decide when to return to evaluate the solution. Depending upon the circumstances, you may need to revisit this discussion again in the near future. Decide upon a time in which you will talk again to discuss how this particular solution is working out for each of you. If needed, repeat the above steps again.

Use the above steps to bring about a peaceful resolution when conflict arises in friendships and relationships.

How to Heal from a Benzodiazepine Addiction

If you've ever experienced anxiety, then you might have been prescribed a benzodiazepines. They are sometimes called "benzos". These medications can help ease a person's anxiety and have become quite popular with some groups of people.

Benzodiazepines increase the neurotransmitter gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA) and as a result have hypnotic and anticonvulsant effects. Benzodiazepines slow down the central nervous system and relieve symptoms of anxiety, pain, and stress. This drug was first introduced in 1955 and made available in 1960 as Valium. In 1977, benzodiazepines were the most prescribed medication in the world.

Because of the positive effects of the drug, it is sometimes prescribed for phobias, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and insomnia. Generally, there are three forms of benzodiazepines that are available to the public: those that are short-acting (less than 12 hours), intermediate-acting (between 12 and 24 hours), and long-acting (over 24 hours). And yet, although they can provide someone with sedative, hypnotic, and muscle relaxant experiences, they have been commonly abused. And not only are they abused, but these drugs are also highly addictive. Today, more and more experts are recognizing the dangers of benzodiazepines and trying to avoid prescribing them.

Furthermore, the side effects of taking benzodiazepines include:

·         slower brain activity

·         uncoordinated sensation

·         drowsiness

·         constipation

·         difficulty breathing

In fact, depending on the amount taken, a benzodiazepine can even cause death. Long-term abuse of benzodiazepines can be severe including memory loss, hallucinations, difficulty breathing, slowed pulse, and comatose state. And if a person were to go through detox from a benzodiazepine addiction, there are severe withdrawal symptoms. These may include muscle twitching, hallucinations, ringing in the ears, numbness, sensitivity to light, insomnia, and tingling in the body. If a person can take benzodiazepines as prescribed, they can commonly avoid an addiction.

But that's the problem for many people taking who are taking these drugs - they can be hard to quit. If you're taking any kind of a benzodiazepine, it's important that you stay closely monitored by a doctor and/or a psychiatrist. Too many people put themselves at risk by not following their prescription and then find themselves with an addiction.

If you recognize that you have an addiction to benzodiazepines, here are suggestions for recovering from this type of addiction:

1. Contact the physician or mental health provider who prescribed these drugs to you in the first place. Let them know that you'd like to wean off the drug and, if needed, find a healthier replacement for the medication you're taking.

2. Create a plan for tapering off the medication. Care needs to be taken when weaning off this drug because doing so too quickly has life-threatening consequences. It's possible to wean off this drug without feeling the discomfort of withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal can be physically and emotionally challenging. Therefore doing this carefully is important.

3. Get professional help for addiction if necessary. Commonly, if a person was following the orders of their doctor, then an addiction to benzodiazepines would not have developed. Having an addiction to benzodiazepines often indicates that a person was vulnerable to addiction, regardless of the type of drug. In fact, that person might have other addictions to heal from as well. Getting professional assistance for a benzodiazepine addiction can provide lifelong skills for long-term recovery.

These are suggestions for healing from an addiction to benzodiazepines. Because of the dangers that come with withdrawing from benzodiazepines, don't try to do this alone. Make sure you consult with a doctor and/or mental health provider for support. 

Why Some Mental Health Organizations are No Longer Using Benzodiazepines

Many mental health providers who have the authority to prescribe medication might be thinking twice about benzodiazepines, such as Valium or Xanax. At one point, these drugs were being prescribed for all sorts of mental health conditions because of the way they made men and women feel at ease with their anxiety. However, as more and more information is coming to light about the long-term effects of this medication, many mental health organizations and professionals are turning to other resources.

First of all, one clear reason for this is that benzodiazepines are highly addictive. According to DualDiagnosis.org, approximately 20.4 million Americans ages 12 and older have misused Benzodiazepines. For those who abuse benzodiazepines for the high it brings, the experience of taking the drug is similar to getting drunk. Plus, if taken along with alcohol, the combined effect is an enhanced and more pronounced high.

Benzodiazepines have hypnotic and anticonvulsant properties. It slows down the central nervous system and relieves symptoms of anxiety, pain, and stress. Generally, there are three forms of benzodiazepines that are available to the public: those that are short-acting (less than 12 hours), intermediate-acting (between 12 and 24 hours), and long-acting (over 24 hours). Because of the positive effects of the drug, it is sometimes prescribed for phobias, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and insomnia.

Because of the way that a person feels when on the drug, benzodiazepines have been commonly abused. Yet, the problem is that they are highly addictive. Furthermore, the side effects of taking benzodiazepines include slower brain activity, uncoordinated sensation, drowsiness, constipation, difficulty breathing, and depending on the amount taken, can even cause death. Long-term abuse of benzodiazepines can be severe including memory loss, hallucinations, difficulty breathing, slowed pulse, and comatose state. And if a person were to go through detox from a benzodiazepine addiction, there are severe withdrawal symptoms. These may include muscle twitching, hallucinations, ringing in the ears, numbness, sensitivity to light, insomnia, and tingling in the body. If a person can take benzodiazepines as prescribed, they can commonly avoid an addiction. However, if an addiction does develop, the withdrawal process can be difficult.

Emergency rooms around the country have seen a higher amount of visits related to the use of benzodiazepines, whether from side effects or from withdrawal symptoms. Because of these dangers, many mental health providers are being instructed to help their clients taper off from benzodiazepines. Or they might switch a client from a fast acting to a long acting form of the drug. As you can imagine, especially with the nation-wide dilemma with prescription drug addiction, more and more health professionals are trying to avoid the use of drugs that are addictive.

If you're taking any form of this drug, it's important that you stay closely monitored by a doctor and/or a psychiatrist. Too many people put themselves at risk and then find themselves with an addiction. Slowly weaning off the drug is an option but the experience can be physically and emotionally challenging. Speak to a doctor or mental health provider for assistance.

Learning to Cope with Negative Thinking

The only way to help yourself with negative thinking is to first become aware of when you’re thinking negatively and what you’re saying to yourself. Without that self-awareness you won’t be able to stop negative thinking in its tracks. And that’s really the only time to make a significant dent. However, anytime you become more aware, that too is helpful! This article will explore types of negative thinking and what you can do to cope with it. 

There are many forms of negative thinking. Learning about them is also a way to become more self aware. When you learn that there are certain thoughts that can be harmful and you recognize that you have them from time to time, then the next time you have that type of thought you might be able to stop yourself. Types of negative thinking include:

Filtering – This is a form of selective hearing and seeing. You see and hear things that confirm what you believe about yourself, others, and the world. However, the beliefs we have may not be healthy. For instance, a person might believe that they are unlovable. As a result, they might see and hear things that only confirm this negative belief. 

Polarizing – This is also known as black and white or all or nothing thinking. For instance, a person might think to themselves, “If I don’t get this right, I’m a failure.” With this type of thinking, there’s little room in between. 

Overgeneralization – This is a person’s tendency to take one detail in their experience and making it a general rule about their lives. For instance, you might try your hand at a business. And when it fails, you might conclude that you are a failure at all things in your life. 

Mind reading – This is when a person believes that what they are thinking to themselves is the same types of thoughts that others are having about them too. At a party, for instance, if you are feeling extremely anxious, you might believe that others can see your anxiety too and have judgments about you as you are having judgments about yourself. 

Self-blame – This is when a person takes the blame for any and everything, whether they are responsible for it or not. 

Personalization – This is when someone takes everything personally and believes that everything that happens is because of something they did or said. 

Shoulds: This is the controlling facet of a person’s mind that likes to remind you of what you should be doing or what you should have done. This can quickly erode a person’s self esteem. 

These are a few examples of negative thinking. Being judgmental of oneself or others, gossiping, or talking down about others can be considered negative. If you want to put an end to thinking negatively, you might begin by documenting your thoughts on a daily basis. Write down any negative thoughts you had that day and if you had any associated feelings. Were there any events or experiences that triggered the negative thinking? And what kind of thought would you use to replace the negative thought?

For instance, you might find that today you had the thought, “I’m a failure.” You can replace that thought with something that might be more reasonable. For instance, you might think instead, “I might fail at some things but that does not make me a failure. I also have strengths, abilities, and successes in my life.”

Negative thinking is not easy to end right away. It’s going to take time. And it will change as you continue to become more aware and work at consciously replacing those old thoughts for new and healthy ones.

Excessive and Chronic Stress is Related to Substance Use and Addiction

It might be common knowledge that a person who cannot manage stress in his or her life might turn to drugs and alcohol as a means to cope. However, research also indicates that a person who has endured chronic stress as a result of challenging experiences in childhood might also come to rely upon substances as a means to find nurturance and relief. This article will explore the relationship between chronic stress and substance use.

Challenging experiences in childhood does not predict addiction. However, there is an association between those who experienced excessive and chronic stress, such as experiencing a childhood trauma and the use of drugs and alcohol. Experts have found that prolonged stress in childhood can permanently alter the hormonal stress response, causing a person to respond differently to certain stressful situations subsequently in his or her life. And this new way of responding to life's stressful circumstances can include the consumption of alcohol and/or use of drugs.

In fact, research has tested this on animals, which has demonstrated that there is a relationship between childhood experiences, stress, and vulnerability to substance use. For instance, babies monkey who were raised by those other than their mothers consume twice as much alcohol as those monkeys who were raised by their mothers. Also, rats who were handled during the first three weeks of their life demonstrate a significant reduction in the stress hormone response later in their adulthood, compared with rats who were not handled during their early life.

When a person must endure a significant amount of stress in their early life, they tend to not have the inner resources to soothe themselves, and thus, they will be more likely to turn to external resources in order to calm themselves. One of these external resources for many people with a history of trauma is drugs and alcohol. As you can imagine, the relationship between chronic stress and substance use becomes stronger if a person does not have healthy coping tools or a network of support to rely upon.

There is certainly a clear association between chronic stress and substance use. However, even the anticipation of a stressful event can be triggering for someone, and commonly, people will drink or use substances during a stressful situation. Furthermore, stressful events are not the same for everyone. One person might find finances stressful while others might find that loneliness is what triggers them.

There are many individuals who have experienced difficult life circumstances who are also alcoholics or addicts. Many of them will report that it was those challenging events that contribute to their addiction. This again reinforces the relationship between chronic stress and addiction. Fortunately, there are ways to assist a person who is struggling with past life events and alcoholism or drug addiction. For instance, ensuring that there is adequate support in one's life, learning new coping tools, participating in therapy to address past trauma, and working with one's thoughts and beliefs are all ways to facilitate sustained sobriety.

If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction, contact a mental health provider for assistance.